Being a woman is tough as it is. What we learn and consume daily, influences our experiences as woman. Our histories, our cultures and families are major influences in our lives of how woman are shaped. While keeping our culture alive within us, our family perspective of life, on us, as individuals isn’t always what is best for us. Yes, we value and learn from their experiences, but our own experiences in this changing world cannot be ignored. Our genital is not our identity. Yes, it’s a part of us, but it doesn’t have to define who we are, as it once did.
Big Sis focuses on me and my cousin’s relationship. Our bond. How comfortable we are with one another. We can insult each other, be sarcastic, and then laugh about it. This creates a comfortable environment that allows us to be free and open. Even if you don’t know us personally, you can feel this environment in our tiny, shared bedroom.
Working on this video project has expand my understanding in the way footages are edited and/or shot are the key aspects of conveying my ideas. What I adore the most about this project is that I get to share my interest with her. Show her my favourite movies and tv shows, my makeup, books, and clothes. The close-up photos of the items, I’ve lent to her so she can decorate her side. The bunk bed is not only the site of the video, but it also symbolises our relationship and age difference. It has somehow become the subject of the film. Scenes in Big Sis are chaotic then some are calm because it represents our individuality, our bond, and our relationship with the environment we are put in. These are candid moments and some self-awareness with the camera.
The motivation in pursuing this idea came from the personal experiences of growing up in Aotearoa, New Zealand. All my families immigrated from Cambodia. As I entered my teen years, I started to question my family expectation of me as a woman. I felt like I was being trapped in a box. My cousin is in her coming-of-age. These are the years where she is starting to discover herself as a teenager. I’ve became my cousin’s mentor. Her big sister. While keeping our culture alive, I’m also allowing her to discover herself. Became her safe place.
I have noticed that my generation are headstrong – very determined. (Not to say other generations aren’t. It depends on a matter). We grew up learning from the past and to avoid repeating history. Be better. To move forward. A lot of us are passionate about making a change in the world and society.
A lady is respectful. A lady listens. A lady acts ‘proper’. The reputation and how others perceive you is important. The way you act. The way you dress. What you eat. How you eat. What you look like. Being brought up in an Asian household being a good lady is crucial. They prepare us on how to be a woman out there, but the conversations around self-discovering have always been brushed away because they’re not important or… pardon my language, “pointless shit”. Some of the stuff I was told growing up which I still hear today; A lady shouldn’t stay up late nor sleep in. A lady shouldn’t game. A lady doesn’t play sport. A lady shouldn’t be watching violence films. A lady must know how to cook and clean. To provide for their future family (really?). Doesn’t that sound so double standard?
We see this action more in Asian cultures in this case Cambodian because they haven’t been able to break out of the structure. There’s isn’t a lot of education to spread awareness. Movements are slowly coming into fruition, but it’s not easy to change people’s mindset and traditions. It’s almost impossible because it’s all they know. Kids like my cousin and I, we have the privilege of growing up in the western culture. In a country like New Zealand. The resources. The education. That doesn’t mean we don’t have obstacles. Let’s not compare the hardship and environment we grew up in. Our ages and the generation we grew up as - Everyone is dealing or had delt with something. Man or Woman.
The bond my cousin and I have is important. To me and to her. We learn and bounce off each other. We’re each other’s comfort. A place to escape the pressure. Even if it’s just for a minute.